What I know now,
that I didn't know before:
Life is going to be different now.
testimonial Tuesday #8
How much of your life have you spent doing things that you didn’t want to do, but were seemingly unable to stop doing, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year…until finally, an entire decade went by and you said to yourself “Wow. A whole decade has gone by, and I STILL don’t like ______________…I guess I can stop now???” I can’t speak for YOU, but I have a feeling that this is a relatively Universal concept. However, choosing to recognize what’s not working and then choosing to do something about it...this is -perhaps- a lot less common.
In my last session with Rachael (two weeks ago), one of her most significant (to me) statements was: “YOU ARE NO LONGER ALLOWED TO DO THINGS THAT DO NOT FEEL GOOD TO YOU.” Now, if Rachael were here, she would probably want you to know that she RARELY tells people what to do. As a client of hers for the last eight months, I can attest to the truth of that statement. However, when she receives strong messages from YOUR (my) higher consciousness -this is part of being an energy healer; receiving messages on her clients' behalf that we ourselves may not yet be able to hear- she wastes NO time telling you about them, and relaying them with the same intensity and force with which she received them. ‘You are no longer allowed to do things that do not feel good to you’ was one such message.
Today in our session, it was "The way you have been treating me is not ok".
As in, "the way that you (Morgan) have been treating me (Morgan) is not ok".
The way that I have been treating myself is not ok.
“The way you have been treating me is not ok…” We spoke about this first in the context of relationships. Old friendships that are trying to find their new place in a changing world. Intimate relationships that are doing their best to remain genuine, as the human beings in those relationships continue to evolve and change. Even relationships with family members. It seems to me that there are so many different relationships throughout the course of life, many of which appear solid as stone, only to reveal in time that they are as vulnerable to change as any grain of sand in the desert. And each time this happens; each time an we encounter a new twist on an old relationship, we learn more about what each of those relationships were/are/have always been made of…and perhaps even more about the consistency of what our relationships are made of with ourselves.
This was where the above quote came in; “The way you have been treating me is not ok…” While reflecting on a particularly challenging relationship, I discussed with Rachael the strength and personal integrity that seem necessary to tell someone that the way they are treating you is not ok. And it’s true. And Rachael agreed. However, almost immediately after I said it, I could hear my own truth underneath the statement. It was the way that I had been treating mySELF in that relationship that was not ok. What I was allowing to take place, and what I was NOT taking responsibility for, which was the amount of authenticity that I was bringing to the table, and the lack of responsibility that I was taking for my level of satisfaction or happiness within each scenario…the way I was ‘allowing’ myself to be treated, translated directly to how I was treating mySELF.
We've all had shitty relationships. Some, far shittier than others. I have watched friends; both men and women, stay in relationships LONG passed their expiration date. And every time, I look at said friend and think to myself:
why the hell are they putting up with that person?
DON’T THEY SEE HOW AMAZING/WONDERFUL/GORGEOUS/GENEROUS/
KIND/ETC. THEY ARE?
They deserve so much better…
but as our external relationships are generally a reflection of our internal ones, it is -perhaps- a logical conclusion that however we are behaving outside of ourselves, is also how we are behaving inside of ourselves. As in, if we are putting up with abuse or neglect or general ass-holy-ness on the outside, odds are good that we are doing so on the inside as well.
Some days, I can be a total dick to myself. But I certainly don’t want to be, and I definitely don’t have to put up with it.
Neither do you.
How have you been treating yourself lately?
Anything you care to share?
What do YOU know now,
that you didn’t know before?