What I know now,
that I didn't know before:
Only time will tell...
testimonial Tuesday #5
It seems to be a common belief, that at any given moment, we know what we are doing with our lives…but in truth, only time will tell. We are relatively sure that when we wake up in the morning, our day is going to look like whatever we had planned the night before, but again…only time will tell. As the expression goes; “People plan, God laughs”… I suppose a good follow up question would be about whether or not God is laughing with us or at us, but again…even in this instance… only time will tell.
It was not all that long ago that I was certain about who I was supposed to be (a musical theatre super star of sorts) and what I was supposed to do with my life (anything that involved being a musical theatre superstar of sorts), and it has only taken a matter of weeks for a good sixteen years of ‘planning’ to fade into the past, and take its place on the proverbial shelf in my mind labeled ‘distant memories’. As in; “hey, remember when you wanted to be a musical theatre superstar? Gosh that’s so funny…and feels like it was such a looooong time ago!” These are the thoughts that keep me up at night, wondering; am I the only one that is experiencing this? Or does everyone else feel the same way I do, and just not talk about it because of what it might mean about ourselves if we reveal to others all of the things that we were 'supposed' to be, and never became? Are we failures if we share, out loud, all of the things that we never accomplished? Or are we just human?
How many people out there were -for many years- relatively certain about the direction that their lives were headed, only to wake up one morning and find that
If you are reading this, and I hope you are, how often do you feel like you are living out the phrase ‘fake it ’til you make it’ while simultaneously hoping and praying that no-one finds out that you really-only-kinda-sorta know what you're doing?
A dear friend of mine once suggested that I ‘say yes to everything, and stay one day ahead of the curve’. As in, when life offers you a new job/opportunity/experience etc., just say yes…and then figure it out. At the time, this particular friend had recently accepted a job as a music teacher for an all girls Catholic school, where she was to teach African drumming and guitar - two instruments that she did not know how to play. And so, the night before each class, she would teach herself whatever she needed to know, and then go into class the next day, and teach her students whatever she had taught herself the night before. And so it has gone for the better part of five years. Now, she is a stellar teacher, and has grown into an excellent musician as a bonus. Did she know that it was going to work out when she started? No. But she knew that there was only one way to find out, and only time would tell…
Ever since she revealed her little secret, I have attempted to live by it honestly in my everyday life. It has brought with it great terror and exhilaration, and has lead me to do all kinds of things that I probably would not have previously had the courage to consider, including accepting a part in a musical based on my ‘ability’ to play guitar…and then learning how to play guitar, teaching large amounts of well known Jerome Robbins choreography to large quantities of non-dancing high school students, and flying half way around the world to vacation with friends in Bali. Each of those moments were terrifying in some capacity, but were also pivotal in my understanding of what is possible for every single human being in his/her/their lifetime.
What about you? When was the last time you had to look your fears in the face in order to do what was truly in your heart? Did you commit to something you really wanted with no idea how you were going to make it happen? Did you plan a trip around the world at a time when you had seven dollars in your bank account? Did you tell someone that you loved them in the most unromantic of moments, simply because it just had to be said?
How many of us are ‘faking it til we make it’, all the while believing that we are alone in doing so? And how many of us would feel SO much better if we knew that we were not alone in doing so? That everyone is just ‘figuring it out’ as they go along? Any maybe, just maybe, could we speed up the process of learning that WE are NOT ALONE IN DOING SO by starting to share our stories with one other?
What are you waiting for time to tell YOU?
What do YOU know now,
that you didn’t know before?