What I know now,
that I didn't know before:
The adventure is never over…
testimonial Tuesday #4
Just because you choose to set your bags down for a hot second, it does not mean that your adventure is over...
Hello, my name is Morgan, and I'm a move-a-holic. Since my high school graduation in 2002, I have moved my stuff approximately fifty-one times. Some of those moves have been large, some have been small, many have been into and out of other people’s homes to sit on and pet their animals, and all of them have included me and all of my belongings going from one place, to another place, and then back to the first place, or on to another place. It has been incredible, it has been exhausting, and it has taught me the value of being cared for so much by others that they are willing to make space for you.
Also, the necessity of learning to ask for help, and perhaps the most challenging for me; the willingness to receive it.
Gratitude. Fear. Exhilaration. Exploration.
These are all words that I have associated with my semi-nomadic lifestyle over the past fifteen years. Also, tiring, draining, and unfulfilling. And more recently, un-necessary. After years of traveling and moving from place to place, what was once an adventure began to feel more like an excuse to avoid my life. It was as if I could validate to myself not having the things that I wanted because I was an ‘actress’ (I have been in musical theatre for all of the years since high school) and moving around and living an inconsistent lifestyle is just ‘part of the package’. However, when I left New York this past October (I returned to NYC for the months of February-October of 2017 in my third attempt at living there), I also managed to leave behind my incessant need to validate my existence by being on stage…and found myself at a loss for excitement. It was as if the adventure was over, and it was time to move home, buy a house, and have some babies. “Squirt out a few poop-shooters” as a friend of mine would call it.
When I spoke with Rachael about this last Tuesday in our third session, the word ‘adventure’ came up a lot.
"You are still wanting adventure"
Rachael told me,
"and some part of you is feeling like: now that you are home, the adventure has to be over".
As in, 'now that I am home, I am no longer free to explore or expand or evolve the way that Rachael has been helping me to do for the past seven months'. Rachael referred to it as ‘extra credit’, revealing to me that often, when her clients are making great strides in their intuitive development, they will somehow find their way into an environment in which that growth is tested.
*Moving back home is one example.
*Living as an adult in your parents’ house is another.
*Returning to the same company that you have worked for every time you have been home over the past twelve years is a third.
She explained to me that in these moments, some part of us has chosen to put our souls to the test; to ‘return to the scene of the crime’ so to speak, and find out what we are really made of.
Can we maintain our growth in the environments which once assisted in maintaining our title as ‘children’?
Can we make new/more aligned choices when presented with old circumstances?
How will we handle conflict and communication with old friends, as the new ‘us’?
And perhaps, most importantly, how do we continue to walk the spiritual path, which has opened us to so many new and wonderful inner-personal experiences, in a once-limiting environment?
How do we continue the adventure?
That is what I am working on this week. What seems clear thus far is that adventure can look like a lot of different things. Adventure used to mean living all over the country and having a million external experiences. Now, adventure feels a bit more like staying put-ish and trusting that this new chapter will unfold before me in a way that speaks to my heart. Both involve taking chances and leaning into the unknown, and both are capable of leading us to unexpected outcomes.
Leaning into the unknown…unexpected outcomes…those things, to me, lend themselves to an adventure one way or another. Only one way to find out :-)
What is YOUR latest adventure?
What do YOU know now, that you didn’t know before?