What I know now,
that I didn't know before:
I am super fu*king smart.
testimonial Tuesday #20
A few years back, a good friend of mine was offered an amazing job. To her, it was totally out of the blue and she couldn’t believe that she had duped someone in to hiring her for something that she was “so obviously not qualified to be doing”. To the rest of us, it was so obvious that she WAS so qualified for the position and was hired -in large part- due to her outstanding qualifications, and also -in some other faction- based on the FACT that she is a total bad ass. Many months later, after she was really in to the swing of things at her new job, I sat next to her on her couch one night and watched her move lots of numbers around between different spread sheets. I had no clue what I was looking at. However, to my friend, it was easy and obvious. A piece of cake. When I asked her about it, she said something to the likes of “I don’t know, it just make sense to me. It doesn’t really feel all that hard.”
I equate this to a native Mandarin speaker explaining how the language is not really that difficult once you get the hang of it.
Natural skills and abilities can vary so drastically from one person to the next, that it is easy -as an onlooker- to assume that someone is super successful or talented because they have worked incredibly hard to be that way. And in many cases, that is true. My friend -the one with all the spread sheets- she works her ASS of at everything she does. She has for her entire life. However, I believe that it would also behoove us to examine the natural talents and abilities that we were born with, and perhaps, start to look at them as the key to all of the doors we have been trying to open ... but haven't been able to find. Perhaps you feel like you've been looking for that 'thing' or the answer to that question that you can never quite seem to ask...and what I have come to realize is that, perhaps, is it not such a mystery after all.
It is so easy to take our natural abilities for granted. Especially if we have grown up knowing ourselves to be really good at something and not especially good at something else. It is easy to undermine our innate talents, simply because they are ours – they have always been there- and therefor, they are not special or unique... and THEREFOR, they are not worth pursuing. In a day and age where we thrive on comparison and have access to what every other person on the planet is doing and all hours of the day, it can be incredibly easy to lose sight of who we are and what we are truly called to do.
This week, I started my new job. It has taught me many things already, but the two most important seem to be this:
1. I am really good with numbers.
I have always known this, but as it did not seem cool or like a big deal, it went overlooked. And
2. I am really smart.
Like, smarter than I have ever known myself to be.
I entered an entirely new world this week, and in very short order, became quite fluent in the language. And let me tell you, it feels really really good. Especially after a lifetime of thinking that my only contributable-to-the-world-skills lied in my stage presence and performance ability.
This week I worked 40 hours at a desk in an office (MY office), staring at a computer screen, inputting numbers and data, preparing deposits, filing insurance claims, and solving other people’s problems. I didn’t wear makeup, I drank way too much coffee, and for the first time in as long as I can remember, I felt like a human being with a driving purpose. I felt excited. I felt inspired. I felt like I never wanted to stop doing what I was doing. I had to pry myself away from my desk at the end of each day, and I was eager to get back to it the next morning. I felt appreciated, respected, trusted, and most of all, I felt really freakin smart.
I’ve never really felt smart.
I always knew that I had a very active brain, and that I retained a lot of knowledge from my personal attempts at continued enlightenment…but never smart. Never book smart, or brainy, or even a little bit like a nerd.
Now, I feel like a total nerd. And I love it.
I had no idea that this part of me existed. I had no idea that I had been shutting her out for so long. I had no clue that she was -or is- indeed, so very smart, and so very much a part of me.
I love her :-)
What comes naturally to YOU, that you might be overlooking?
What do YOU know now,
that you didn't know before?