|
The moment before: My feet want to leave the ground... Can I be grounded in space? Can I be grounded in the sensation of floating? Off of the ground? In transition? Can I be grounded in a ground-less place? I have wanted grounding. Felt like I needed grounding in order to move ahead- whatever that means. That idea has changed. lift off AKA: It's hard to fly when you're dragging your feet... -The essence of my session with Rachael this week-
|
 |  |
So, Rachael works my chakras. She cleans them out. She lightens them up. She removes any un-helpful energy that I may be carrying around, making me feel heavy or unnecessarily stressed out.
Think of your chakras as your closet. They get filled with a lot of crap that you don't really need.
Think of Rachael as a master closet organizer. She graciously holds up each item and strokes it lovingly, while simultaneously enlightening you as to why it is no longer necessary to hold onto your sized zero jeans from freshman year of high school.
Then, she gets you really excited about all of the new stuff that you are going to fill your closet with -all of which is much more your actual size- and she quickly discards the old crap before you have a chance to change your mind...
...all with a smile and a voice like butta'.
Think of Rachael as a master closet organizer. She graciously holds up each item and strokes it lovingly, while simultaneously enlightening you as to why it is no longer necessary to hold onto your sized zero jeans from freshman year of high school.
Then, she gets you really excited about all of the new stuff that you are going to fill your closet with -all of which is much more your actual size- and she quickly discards the old crap before you have a chance to change your mind...
...all with a smile and a voice like butta'.
the work begins.
With my intention set, Rachael begins the concentrated work of energy clearing. From our previous sessions, I have become somewhat accustomed to the sensation of warmth and sunny tingles dissipating throughout my body. As Rachael invites me to sit back and relax, I anticipate the familiar sensations of expansion and breath moving through me like a gentle breeze.
However, this was a ride of a different color.
However, this was a ride of a different color.
| As soon as I closed my eyes, I felt energy shooting down my legs. In my head I saw swirls of sparkles -like the kind left behind by a sparkler on the 4th of July after you've written your name in the air- they wrapped my legs and sent me shooting into space. I saw myself, a human rocket, soaring into the great beyond with nothing but the flames shooting out of my feet to send me forward. |  |
I then felt the same sensation move up my body in reverse -feet to head- spirals of golden light that removed some sense of an outer shell. It was as if the 'who I am suppose to be' was stripped clean off of my essence, and left behind the me that is real and honest. I was covered in pink shimmer, and I had a magic wand. I remember thinking "I'm magic! I can do anything I want! I don't have to choose, I can have it all!" Then, I felt a strong pulse move down the right side of my body, and I watched a frail but complete version of myself sneak out from inside of me. It was as if someone had unzipped my costume, and I was finally free to breathe in the fresh air, without restriction.
Now, allow me -if you will- to be the first to recognize how wild/amazing/unbelievable/crazy/self aggrandizing this all may or may not sound. Personally, I am surprised every time I step into this arena, how 'other worldly' it all seems. However, my surprise at the process generally pales in comparison to my surprise at what Rachael has to say once the silence is broken...
I mentioned 'big rocks' at the beginning of this post -attempting to figure out which rocks need to go into the bucket first, followed by which other rocks, and so on and so forth- the overwhelming need being to 'figure out' how all the many pieces of my life are going to fit together.
When I mentioned this originally, Rachael offered a visual she was getting;
"It's like you're in space, and there are all these rockets whizzing by you, and 'if only you could just figure out which one to jump on, then you would be certain to get where you're going...'"
...this woman is amazing...
"Yes!" I exclaim. "That is EXACTLY how I feel. Life is whizzing by, and I'm afraid if I don't figure out how to hang on, then I might miss the whole damn thing."
She laughs.
"Great. But, what if you don't have to hang on to ANY of them? What if you were your OWN rocket, and instead of shooting forward through space, you ascend upwards? It's as if what you want is not just in front of you, but all around you, and you actually can have it all..."
Now, allow me -if you will- to be the first to recognize how wild/amazing/unbelievable/crazy/self aggrandizing this all may or may not sound. Personally, I am surprised every time I step into this arena, how 'other worldly' it all seems. However, my surprise at the process generally pales in comparison to my surprise at what Rachael has to say once the silence is broken...
I mentioned 'big rocks' at the beginning of this post -attempting to figure out which rocks need to go into the bucket first, followed by which other rocks, and so on and so forth- the overwhelming need being to 'figure out' how all the many pieces of my life are going to fit together.
When I mentioned this originally, Rachael offered a visual she was getting;
"It's like you're in space, and there are all these rockets whizzing by you, and 'if only you could just figure out which one to jump on, then you would be certain to get where you're going...'"
...this woman is amazing...
"Yes!" I exclaim. "That is EXACTLY how I feel. Life is whizzing by, and I'm afraid if I don't figure out how to hang on, then I might miss the whole damn thing."
She laughs.
"Great. But, what if you don't have to hang on to ANY of them? What if you were your OWN rocket, and instead of shooting forward through space, you ascend upwards? It's as if what you want is not just in front of you, but all around you, and you actually can have it all..."
...you actually can have it all...
ummm... yes, please!
(...now, can somebody tell me what it is that I actually want?)
It's all starting to make sense.
I am my own rocket. Mental note: great name for a book.
I am magic. We all are.
As I mentioned this to Rachael, she informed me that she could feel my crown chakra getting really excited. The enlightened part of me was saying 'Yes! Finally! You're starting to understand! You are free to move out of your own way! Stop dragging your feet, and you will fly!'
I love the enlightened part of me. It feels kind of like the profoundly honest place that one discovers after a few cocktails. The place from which we make promises to ourselves about how we are going to live our lives from that moment forward. It is a warm and courageous place to be in, and I love it. However. It is the all-to-sober-buzz-kill-control-freak within me that needs to know where I am going to land after lift off that puts out the fire before I can even begin to feel the warmth.
It is a beautiful thing to recognize that we are all capable of absolutely anything we wish to achieve/experience in this life.
However, the beauty in this notion is easily overlooked by the question I have been asking myself for months:
How do you get what you want, when you don't really know what that is?
If you're standing in a sea of precious gems and someone hands you a bucket, how do you decide which ones to pick up? Rubies because they are so rare? Diamonds, because they are the most commercially viable? Do you just grab handfuls and take whatever you can get? How do you decide?
This is the crux of my second session with Rachael;
The paradox of choice.
And THIS is where the chakras come in.
The answers are within each of us if we are still enough to listen...or if we have a great translator.
Rachael is one such person.
BTW: This is my favorite part of the session; when Rachael shares with me what my chakras had to say about my new found understanding of what is possible in this life.
Chakra-talk 2.0:
Crown- Excitement! 'Can this really be real?!' Like kid at Disneyland
3rd eye- How can I make this last?
Just keep doing what you’re doing. This can be your life. Trust that what has gotten you here will keep you moving forward here. When it's time for something different you will feel it.
Continue to surrender. Trust the process. Follow the signs.
Throat- Share your story.
Heart- There is no choice to be made in this moment. Follow the feel good energy. You know it when you feel it ☺ Release control. Control is not what got you here. No need to control now. Just continue to show up as you. You are safe to follow the” shiny thing” that feels good in the moment.
Solar- Inspired action.
Sacral- Seeing the possibility of infinite manifestations of what I want.
Root- Trying to become grounded in this space-- in this new way of living.
Crown- Excitement! 'Can this really be real?!' Like kid at Disneyland
3rd eye- How can I make this last?
Just keep doing what you’re doing. This can be your life. Trust that what has gotten you here will keep you moving forward here. When it's time for something different you will feel it.
Continue to surrender. Trust the process. Follow the signs.
Throat- Share your story.
Heart- There is no choice to be made in this moment. Follow the feel good energy. You know it when you feel it ☺ Release control. Control is not what got you here. No need to control now. Just continue to show up as you. You are safe to follow the” shiny thing” that feels good in the moment.
Solar- Inspired action.
Sacral- Seeing the possibility of infinite manifestations of what I want.
Root- Trying to become grounded in this space-- in this new way of living.
As you can see, it is not Rachael's NOR my internal guidance system's job to tell me specifically what to do. What I AM offered are guidelines. Guide posts. Clues that lie in the deepest parts of me as to which steps to take next. It's like someone handing you a flashlight in a dark cave. You don't need to see the entire way out in order to get where you're going, you only need enough light to take the next few steps. Rachael enters the cave, hands me a light, gives me a warm hug, and sends me off on the next phase of my journey.
| I do not need to choose. I can continue to do what feels good and trust that it will lead me to where I need to go. I just need to be myself, and take inspired action when inspiration strikes. | This blog is one such action. Saying 'yes' to things that don't feel bad is another. | Follow the signs. Trust the instincts. Listen to your heart and let it feel good in the moment without worrying about a future moment in which it might not feel as good. |
The final message -become grounded in this space- was undoubtedly the most profound.
I have been a traveling gypsy for the past 4-10 years (depending on how you want to look at it) and it feels like I have been trying and trying -and failing and failing- to root myself the entire time in 'somewhere'; in someone or in something.
A house. A relationship. A job. A crisis. A state of being.
I have wanted roots to hold me to the Earth, in case I might float away...
I mentioned this to Rachael in our closing moments.
How I have been seeking -to no avail- to be in a place and AT a place in my life where I can settle down. Paint my walls. Receive mail. Find some sense of stability and normalcy. And even though I keep asking for this, keep saying that it's what I want, there is a big part of me that is saddened by the thought of losing it all; the freedom of being unsettled. Part of me worries that I might be missing the adventure for fear of where it is trying to take me. That maybe, what life has been asking me to do is just pick up my damn feet, and LET myself float away.
Let my rocket take off.
Imagine what I could see from space, not to mention the endless landing options that are not available to someone who is free to float.
Perhaps life is meant to be more amazing than anything I could ever dream up on my own...
I inquire to Rachael:
"Become grounded in this space...
Does this mean that my task is to find safety and comfort within mySELF?
That perhaps, what I have been seeking externally is what I need to cultivate internally? That I am safe to enjoy the ride, and let life take me where it would like me to go?"
"Yes."
"And I can trust the Universe like a friend?"
"YES."
"And it is safe to trust what I know to be true in my heart?"
"YES!!!"
"...Oh my God this is so exciting..."
Friends, this work is changing my life. I am more aware of what is in front of me, of what is behind me, and what is within me than ever before.
Between now and my next session with Rachael, my intention is to be present and see what comes up. To welcome any feelings of ungrounded-ness, to lean into those moments, and to see where they take me.
As I continue to trust that I am safe within mySELF, I turn terror into excitement, flailing into freedom, and love into light.
Here's to the sparkly dust :-)
Between now and my next session with Rachael, my intention is to be present and see what comes up. To welcome any feelings of ungrounded-ness, to lean into those moments, and to see where they take me.
As I continue to trust that I am safe within mySELF, I turn terror into excitement, flailing into freedom, and love into light.
Here's to the sparkly dust :-)
0 Comments
Leave a Reply.
Archives
October 2017
September 2017
August 2017
July 2017
June 2017
April 2017
RSS Feed