I have had almost three weeks to write this post, and I am writing it today -the morning prior to my 6th session with Rachael- and technically, I am late (I aim to write a piece every week). I could have tried to write this piece a week ago, or even two weeks ago, having thought a lot about the various changes and events that have transpired in that time frame, but it was not until yesterday that it was actually ready to be written.
It would seem that:
the writing has a life of its own.
(Yes- this photo is legal, No- I do not know this young lady, and Yes- I think it is hilarious.)
With patience and presence, it is effortless. When I try to rush it, I end up modifying my work for days, until I am left with a finished product that is 180 degrees different from where it started and has taken me three times longer than necessary to complete.
Conveniently, this has also become a swell metaphor for life;
with intention and patience, the right thing will show up at the right time.
I am pretty sure that this is something that I have always known to be true.
Right along with the awareness that patience is a virtue –which- I have yet to fully cultivate.
Regardless, I am very sure that –patient or not- all life works in cycles;
Wake, activate, sleep.
Plant, harvest, eat.
Expand, contract, expand etc.
Throughout the course of a human life in particular, I believe the cycle to be something like this:
1. Work really hard to recover or remember some key piece of information about our soul’s mission. (expand)
2. Forget what we learned and return to who we were without said information. (contract)
3. Repeat step 1, re-remembering how much better we feel with said information, synthesize, and re-incorporate into our daily lives with the intention of not forgetting again. (expand)
If we are awake enough to see it, this cycle brings us the gifts of perspective, and the security of reinforcement; our awareness of our souls and ourselves getting more solid the more we remember, or re-remember…or re-re-remember…you get my point.
I have watched this cycle play out time and time again, but the recent increase in my personal understanding of its importance is completely based in and upon my work with Rachael. Thanks to her, and whether I like it or not, I can no longer deny that there IS a divine order to everything in the Universe. It is as if the scales have tipped juuuuust enough in favor of trust (a repeated reminder from Rachael), and the belief that life is going to turn out better than I could have ever imagined on my own.
At my core
-in the space that Rachael has helped me to clear internally-
it feels like I am remembering who I am.
Or, more so, like I am RE-remembering who I am.
Over the weekend, I finished reading the book ‘Wild’ by Cheryl Strayed; a personal account of her 100 day, 1100 mile hike along the PCT (Pacific Crest Trail) in an attempt to heal the ‘giant hole in her heart’ brought on by the untimely death of her beloved mother. It was (and is) an incredibly moving tale of personal triumph, unwavering intention, trusting your instincts, and the incredible depth that we possess as human beings for both utter despair and gratitude. Admittedly, I had to spend half of my reading energy, trying to ignore the impulse to sell everything I own, ditch my life, and run off to the woods for 100 days…my ego assuring me that THAT is certain to solve all of my problems.
Those thoughts did not shock me.
It was the sudden stream of thoughts that followed which came as a surprise. At some point in my reading, I suddenly stopped, looked up, and thought to myself (as loud as a person can think):
‘Oh my God!
I’m on my own PCT! I’ve been climbing my own mountain, on my own journey, and I’m almost DONE!!!’